The cover letter I should have used

I'm recycling a lot of this post (I think in creative circles they refer to it as "phoning it in"), but I think it's worth it. Some of my readers will already have seen this, but for the rest of you, well, read it.

I give to you the cover letter I wrote but didn't use for obvious reasons:

Hi there,

I don’t know if you’re hiring, but I’m sending you my resume anyway. Why? Because I know that as soon as you read it you will create a job for me.

As my resume clearly shows, I am awesome. I’m better than awesome. I make awesome look like crap. I can do absolutely anything with computers. I can build them, program them, keep them running nicely, upgrade them with the latest hardware and software, network them, and make them dance.

When it comes to programming, I can perform any job in the software creation process. I can design the algorithms, decide how the project should be done, write the code, test the results, and write the documentation.

These qualifications would meet the requirements for anything from IT help desk monkey to application architect. I can do anything.

I will call your HR department tomorrow to find out where my office is.

Glad to be on board,

New stuff:

I got a rejection letter from CJOH. I think all my current readers know that that's a TV station here in Ottawa, but if not, then you know now. It's a very nice letter. Good, firm paper, nice printing, and a signature that's written in a really cool shade of blue. I'm kind of surprised my resume even made it to their HR department, so this rejection is an accomplishment for me.

I applied for 4 jobs at Research in Motion today. They make the Blackberry, and I've been sending them resumes for almost a year now. Eventually they have to send me good news, right?

Here's hoping HTML tags work in blogger posts.