Leadership

Take a look at the state of the internet. I mean, really. What do you think of it? Is this a place you'd be proud to call your home, a place where could honestly say "this is nice"?

If you're like me, you've come into contact with things on the internet that you feel have no right existing. I won't list them, for you know what I'm talking about. Sites that scare you, people that scare you worse. Discussions of things that cause you to feel sick to your stomach.

It could be pornography, it could be internet standards, it could be proper pet care techniques. I'm not here to pass judgement on what you read, but rather to offer a way to help alleviate your suffering.

The problem with the internet is that there's no accountability. People can do whatever they like and no laws of man or country can stop them. There's absolute freedom, yes, but at what cost?

That's why I'm announcing my candidacy for President of the Internet. Through stable regulation and honest, effective leadership we can turn this reeking cesspool we call an online community into something we can all be proud of.

Imagine, all top level domains under one regulatory committee, which would do nothing but issue and maintain domains. All servers standardized to a level where downtime is unheard of. Stabilized fees for all providers based on their size, and no extra charges for bandwidth when they get linked by a Fark or a Slashdot.

A place where all residents can say to others "I am an internet user, and I'm proud of it". There is a place for everyone in my vision of a new internet, from the holiest church-goer to the most depraved deviant, from the most technologically adept to the modern luddite. You will be able to see only what you want, through proper regulated site filings and effective filters that will stop the flood of potentially offensive material to those who don't want to see it.

By regulating how the internet works, we can reinvent it to work for everyone. An online country, free of the boundaries of physical space, all people united in their desire to make the world a better place.

As President, I would be accountable for all concerns about the Internet. From the day to day operation to concerns about content, I will be the last word. My authority would be derived from you, the citizens of the Internet, and my government would be selected from your ranks. Together we can make a system of laws that are fair, that allow the people the freedoms they currently enjoy without encroaching on their rights.

There are personal rights which are unmutable. The right to life, to choose, to have your voice heard, to ignore those you choose not to listen to. The right to do what you want with your Internet and not have anyone tell you you can't.

Would the government of the Internet be above those rules? No. The government would be held to the same laws that govern the rest of the internet. Laws that are free of moral or religious bias, that affect only the operation and funding of this fledgling nation and protect its people from harm.

The date for the election has not been set, but it will come. When it does, you will know. It may not be announced, there may not be organized voting, but you'll know when the time comes.

When it does, do the right thing. We're all in this together, and we can make something of it.

Thank you.