Stereotypical post

In this entry, I complain about not having enough time to to keep up with the blog.

With school going again, I've suddenly become re-acquainted with homework and assignments. I knew they'd come back, but I forgot about my work ethic. The same one that can produce nuggets of brilliance can also see me staring at a page, with an idea of what to write, but unable to type any of it. It hasn't been like that too badly yet, until now.

I have two large assignments due next Monday. The technical description you know about, but I also have an information plan template due in another class. I don't think it'll really be that tough to get done, but it's boring and hard to force myself to work on. The technical description is the one I'm more worried about, but I can't make myself work on it either. It's slightly less boring, but not interesting enough to make me want to sink my teeth into it and get it done.

I think that lack of passion is what's missing. I don't feel like doing things, so I stare at them until I decide I'm probably not going to be too productive and go do something else. Usually this something else is going to bed, because it's highly likely that I decide to give up around 3 in the morning when I have to get up in the morning.

This has caused me to slack on the blog, because I usually write in here when there's nothing else going on. When I'm staying up half the night trying to work, I'm not thinking of blogging, or even of anything that happened recently that I could write about. Instead, I'm thinking about what I want to say and how I should say, without ever saying it. The technical description has to be 4 pages. I don't even have a half yet. I have a fairly decent idea of what to do and an increasingly clear picture of how to do it, and yet it doesn't get done. There's no passion for it. I don't want to do it. So it lingers and occupies all my time, even though nothing's getting done.

Where can I find the passion I need? I honestly don't know. A more interesting assignment will probably bring it out. Recently there was an assignment in the editing class to write a "dark and stormy night" sentence, with the point being to break all the rules on wordiness and sentence structure. I wrote an almost 500 word sentence that went off on a huge number of tangents, some of which interconnected, and I pounded it out in maybe 20 minutes. It was the most fun I'd had writing in some time, and I loved every minute of it.

The time will free itself when I want to finish the assignment, and I guess I have to accept that. You can't fake passion, so I have to try to pump it up.

I have to make myself care.