Monday, February 28, 2005

You win again, gravity

I'm still stuck to the Earth. All my efforts to break these surly bonds have thus far failed, and I'm beginning to get discouraged. Sure, temporary breakthroughs like airplane flights and jumping really high have given me some hope, but those invariably end with me returning to the ground.

Douglas Adams gave a good lead in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, but it turns out that throwing oneself at the ground and missing is exceedingly difficult. I've tried every possible moment of distraction possible in the falling process, and none have proven to be the correct one. Perhaps my research is damning itself, as in the back of my mind I'm probably calculating that if I think about pickles *now* I'll succeed, so I must make sure to attempt the experiment with a blank mind.

The next round of testing will wait until the bruises heal. No sense causing further damage to myself.

I've noticed that when a piece of paper is held over a fan facing upwards, it is lifted. This is a very common occurance, but it led me to a new thought. What if the entire floor was to be covered with fans, and some sort of paper-shaped suit was to be worn? My present body shape is not conducive to being lifted by air currents, but if I were to wear some variety of enlongated flat material, would the floor of fans be able to lift me? The answer will come after I raise the funds to purchase wall-to-wall fans.

Until the next round, this will be my final entry in the journal of gravity defiance.

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